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But I don't refuse it."Spaseeba Gaspazha Neena, Thank you Mistress Neena," I say. Should I be using what I have learned, to avoid trouble? Or am I falling more under their spell, with every little thing I accept?She smiles, "Pazh'alsta."Back at Inward Bound, Ylena told me that meant 'you're welcome'. I smile. It's an admission that I understand the word. Is that another defeat? Have I let them over-run another of my defences. But do I really have any defences to retreat behind? Any place of safety left to me?She returns with two coffees on a tray and a box. Her coffee is in the tall glass, black with cream floating on top. Just as it was when I came in from the freezing garden.My coffee is in the plastic mug, just black, once again. Could that be a toe-hold for me? Stimulation from the caffeine to help me hold my ground?She puts the black box on the table between us. It could almost be a jewellery box. To me it looks ominous. Threatening. I am expecting something dreadful to crawl. Once the decision had been made it was all she could think about. Month after month went by as she debated how to approach him. When her mother had let it slip that she would be taking a weekend getaway with their father Emily knew that the time had finally come. Feeling slightly guilty she searched his computer one day finding his stash of porn and a text file with all his account user names and passwords. Seeing the chat account she knew what she had to do. If she could connect with him on a less than sisterly level online she may be able to make him see how right this could be. She felt bad about invading his privacy but didn't hesitate to copy his porn and the text file to her computer. She had to learn whatever she could about her brother's desires if this were ever to work.Looking into his eyes now as the plan had reached its most critical stage she knew he was fighting what she'd been trying to process for so long. It wasn't fair, she knew, to have deceived him and then put.
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